That's it. I have decided to change route and aspire to becoming the perfect wife. I just know I can be good at that. In fact, I am starting to suspect that I should have known this all along, as my natural purpose. Yes, I can feel it in my ovaries - finally, I have my direction.

First and foremost, I am going to refrain from dealing with any type of professional which isn't the cable guy, the plumber, the grocer, the dressmaker etc... I can go on and on but I know that by now you are catching my drift. I am happy to report that finally I have come to the conclusion that all these interactions with academia professionals are standing in my way of becoming expert at wifing so I am going to put that into a halt since from now on, to allow myself to concentrate on my recently identified target.

And so I am going to get up early in the morning. Prepare coffee and eggs. Smile and chat frivolously in order to make sure that Y leaves home with a song in his heart. When he decides to leave I am going to kiss him with fervor so that he knows that at home he has a loving wife and that he can go out into the world full of manly confidence. As soon as he is out the door I am going to start fulfilling my chores one after the next with the ability of an apt homemaker. And let me tell you, I am just busy busy busy. I need to: wash the dishes, call the guy from the air conditioner company, start working on dinner, send Y’s shirts to the dry cleaners, clean the leaves off of the balcony, work on the menu for the dinner party which I have planned for the weekend to which I invited Y’s boss and his wife – this is making me kind of nervous, I hear her canard a l’orange is unheard of. After that I have to go buy a beer keg for Y’s Thursday poker night as well as flour for the home-baked nachos I am going to prepare for the guys (yummy!). I have to get all that finished before my wax, nails and hairdresser appointment at 5PM. That will probably take me around two hours. Just enough time to get home for setting the table and doing the final stage of my Beef wellington before Y gets home famished as usual.

I have to stop now. Y just told me – very authoritatevly I might add – to get back to my studies. Gotta go now – you understand…